Year One: Milestone, Or Just My Stone?
Autumn 2013 - 7
26th October 2013
How do you handle pressure and unreasonable demands from an elderly parent, who's mind is slowly going funny? What about the cats?
What when you've both hoped for the best but the worst case scenario unfolds and you're in it?
What when one year on, you think: what the heck, M. would've been just as hypocritical as B.? What when
an ongoing crisis wears you out until there's nothing
left to feel? "Skate around the obstacles imposed to you, the ones around you, and overcome the ones within yourself". Seven new leaders in China.
I've lost two (subsequent) mothers in law in two years time. Reflexology brings relief for a while. Suppose there's only snow on television. Meditate at Nalanda
and in Grimbergen. Friends care but they've got their own problems. Sad songs vs. satsangs. A few restau-rants, paintings and pain things, walks, concerts, some maintenance, medical checks, a few films and a theatre play or two. Massive side-effects of medication.
Out of the box thinking while living inside a box. Experimenting in London. Rescuing someone who isn't coping. Two crises become three. Announcement of
a relation, departure, new life. Scripture study with Louis. Labour day, room to move. What when you've hoped to restore good relations, but you get disap-pointed again? Château Reinhardtstein. Hello agape, goodbye Agapy. Homeopathy, allopathy or both? Dialogue proves to be impossible with a bully.
Unspeakable horror. "Step by step", she said.
This was one step too soon. Panic, sleeplessness, hopelessness, confusion and pain. Ecology and economy, back to XL. Meet Patricia. Think about
Yoga props. Try to work on the house. Psychological pressure. Achilles tendon, shoulders, neck, sciatica...
pain is spreading.
Escaping clockwise. You hear about Thailand, but the rest is silence. Then about Israel, total silence. Three dangers turned into four millstones. Visit physio-therapist. Stop teaching, end of the road. Join choir? Talk to psychologist: what about the cats? Tensions
over unfair division. Minding two houses, dealing with paperwork, transporting, being stuck in the traffic, singing hymns, talking to doctors, visiting hospitals,
A wet Autumn followed by an intense Winter and a
hot and dry Summer. A retreat that didn't go so well. Administrative obstacles. Our street has been blocked during the whole month of August, because the water-works had to be repaired. In October 2013 they cordon off half of the street again and start drilling because this time the sewerage is broken. A sign says that the site will remain unaccessible for four months... if all goes well! Works are going on in surrounding streets too, we are submitted to vibrations and loud noise and invaded by pollution and dust.
Grandiose mountains, endless plains, gasping for air and trying to hum. Resting and rusting, thinking and tinkering, praying and playing, mulling and moaning. Enjoying a few good books. Making plans for a new start. Canceling a meaningless dive: no more heroes anymore. Still working out broadcasting schedule. Making new friends and learning new songs. Visiting botanical garden with an expert gardner. From walker to wheelchair, but what about the cats?
Be brave my son, you've got a heart of gold. Be wise my daughter, you've got an iron will. Get real my friend,
pick up your stone and walk. Heaven help us all.
The labyrinth is real now.
Is there anybody in there?
Taking some rest by Scheldt and North Sea.
Suddenly: a semblance of serenity.
Long live our olive tree!